soo...

I got back from my shoot around 7 pm, turns out The Wizard of Oz started at 6 not 8, but luckily I know how to work the tv so that way the family got to watch it. I went over to my friend Herm's house, I got to see Ashley and Jeremy's baby. She is so precious, even when she threw up all over me and it went down my new dress ><. You know though, his family has always considered me family, I was the only daughter they knew for a long time. Now when I go over there I feel like the only people who want or even like me being there is Ashley, Mom, and Dad. Why do I feel like I shouldn't be over there? Why does everyone else over there make me feel like I shouldn't be there. It is almost as if I am a disease that is contagious and deadly. I don't know, maybe I am just being paranoid.

Why also am I so damned confused on everything!!!??? I just got out of a relationship in which because I didn't feel ready for one. Now I want one! God I just need to shoot myself in the foot, maybe then that will clear my head up. I need to go to the gym and just sit in the steam room for a couple of hours. I feel almost left out and I know I shouldn't want to be around him all the time, but I do. He makes me happy... in more ways than one... and so he went out with his friends, who are kind of mine too, but I don't want to go somewhere and just hang out if I wasn't invited to do so. Oh well, it is Easter so therefore, I will just enjoy staying home cleaning all day >< and I also have a shoot with Gary!! Yay!!! And Lauren is going with me and she might get to shoot! Woot!! She is so gorgeous, she looks like Rachael McAdams... well off to bed I am goodnight